In A Nutshell

I took the kids to the market this morning breaking one of my rules, never food shop on the weekend, but we were at the point of Mother Hubbard. Things were going quite well until we checked out. I used my debit card but for some reason it was put on as a charge and the clerk didn't use my Hannaford's coupon for a dollar off. I went to the customer service desk to rectify the situation. Of course all employees who know how to handle my situation either took the day off or were on a break. I was lucky enough to have the deli girl and bakery girl standing next to me waiting to pay for their incredibly nutritious lunch of sweetened tea and a bag of Doritos.

The customer service girl had no idea what she was doing, but deli girl apparently knew the system, however she was not permitted behind the sacred swinging half door that lead to customer service, so she was forced to explain how to proceed over the counter. Did I mention she was about four feet tall? I'd love to know how promotions work in that store. Anyway, CS girl was finally able to remove the charge from my credit card, but couldn't figure out how to apply the amount to my debit card. She finally decided the best course of action was to re-ring my entire order. Now let me give you a mental picture, I am wearing Abigail on the front of my body. She is getting restless and arching her back every three to five minutes and the arches are getting closer together and longer, a bit like labor pains. Donny is in the cart and at some point has grown four extra arms which he is using to grab as many items as he can off the customer service counter and throwing it in the cart. Eleven o'clock is quickly approaching and we still have a twenty minute drive home. If Abigail isn't fed at noon, the screaming begins. Anyway, I look at the deli girl and tears start to form in my eyes. I tell her I can't possibly re-ring my order because my little helpers are about to blow. She finally suggests they page the Grand Poobah of customer service to come to my rescue. Why this wasn't an option earlier is beyond me. He shows up and fixes the problem in fifteen seconds. Now, what about my coupon? I'm told I'll receive cash. I tell her to keep the cash and give me the winning Mega ticket.

We finally arrive home and I have about thirteen minutes before Abigail starts to scream when there is a knock at the door. The living room is trashed because Abigail and Donny have managed to get out every toy they own while I try to put the groceries away. I am sooo not prepared for company. I open the door and sure enough it's my favorite Jehovah and this time she has brought her husband and son. I think to myself that every time she shows up my life is in complete chaos and then realize that chaos is just normal. I learn that her husband is from Ohio and is also an OSU fan. Donny sees the little boy and asks if he came to play. I think I have the only visiting Jehovah that doesn't want to stay. She always says hello and practically throws the pamphlet in the door before she is off the porch and on her way. I think we are too crazy for her. I return to the kitchen get lunch ready and we all sit down as the clock turns to noon. So there you have it, my Saturday morning in a nutshell or maybe a bit longer.