Back To School

Last night I attended a continuing education class at Dutches County Community College. The class, 20 Ways To Earn Residual Income, was a three hour course that started at 6 P.M. The geek that I am made sure to be there early, but since I am not familiar with this campus, I couldn't find the correct parking lot. I asked a "security guard" for directions to the lot I thought was closest to my class room, according to the handy-dandy campus map I brought with me. He was very kind and I followed him as he drove me around campus to the appropriate lot. As we entered the lot, there were signs posted "No Student Parking" so I told him that I was a student for one night, to which he replied, "Oh, I thought you were a teacher. I guess you should have told me. You need to go back and park in lot E." So I drove back and park in lot E and climb a small mountain to get to my class. I called Big Daddy as I was climbing the stairs and he asked if I was really that out of breath.

I arrived at the top of the mountain sweating profusely and extremely tired, considering Abigail seems to think sleep is optional. A few years ago, the large sweat rings under my arms would have me in such a state that I would consider getting back in the car and heading home, but not now, I have the I don't care 'tude going. I find the class and there is one other "student" sitting in the room with the teacher. Promptly at 6 P.M. the class begins with the two of us. The teacher begins by asking each of us if we are here for a particular subject matter listed in the course description. I tell him that I am interested in the real estate section of his lecture, satisfied with our answers he begins the class. About an hour into class the third student arrives, roughly fifteen minutes later the teacher stops, looks at me and says, "The course description really lists real estate? I told them to take that out, I no longer include that in my lecture." I just sat there, but I was thinking, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I DROVE 45 MINUTES AND CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN JUST FOR THAT PART OF YOUR LECTURE!!!! YOU COULDN'T TELL ME THAT EARLIER!!!" The late arrival said, "Oh, that's why I took the course."

The teacher carried on and finished the lecture. Throughout the lecture questions from the other students would arise concerning the teachers opinion. He would reply that he was not an advisor and had no opinion. The last topic on the syllabus was home based business. He spent about three minutes pumping up the benefits of starting a home based business. I was watching the clock and calculating what time I could be in bed if I left right now, right now, stop talking...I'm adult I can just leave, can't I? That's when the teacher said, "Do you mind if I tell you about my home based business?" The two men agreed and I just rolled my eyes, because I knew where this was going. Within five minutes, he had my classmates convinced they should get in on his business. He handed us DVD's that explained how we could start making money today and if we could just fill out the paper with all our information so he could contact us. I was so pissed, but my classmates had star dust in their eyes. I tried to give them a look, warn them, don't you get guys? He makes money from you!!!! Just as I think he has wrapped up, he starts pushing his two books. I wanted to scream" Finally at 9:20 he finished, I left his DVD on the table and walked out to a deserted campus and practically ran to my car. What a night!

By the way, as I finally finish writing this, at 8:31, Abigail is still asleep and slept through the night. If I knew this, Big Daddy would have been putting her to bed for the last six months.